Dreaming of Reality
by Oh-no-she-di'ent
Summary: I made this fic a preventative step in the WBB split. Just a way for Lorelai to open her eyes and see what she needs to see without waiting til Luke is five seconds away from leaving her. It's complete and rated T with some adult content.


**Disclaimer**: If my name were anywhere _near _the credits for this series, it'd be a huge typo--one that would be recorded and shown to any and everyone who gave a damn.

This is one of my original 2 ideas I mentioned in ATHS. The other I don't know if I'll write yet. But as for this one, I turned my back and it slipped past the cutting room floor. I was a little hesitant to label this story 'Supernatural' because I didn't want anyone to be turned off thinking it's like an X-files story. My idea was simple. I envisioned Lorelai being in a position to see herself from an outsider's standpoint. I didn't know how I would write this and still keep Gilmore Girls from flipping over to a genre that I'm not even interested in. I like to keep my stuff simple and plausible. In other words: _of this world_. So, I tried something different, taking it a teeny bit away from supernatural-like material.

The WBB episode triggered the first break-up of L&L. It was tiny, and they got back together a short time later, but still, I didn't like that it happened. This story is taking place _before _that happens. When Luke and Lorelai had the confrontation in Doose's, Lorelai revealed that she was all in. It was obvious she'd never told him that. Luke left anyway, which makes me think that her words, to him, had come from desperation. He had no reason to believe that she was in it for the long haul with him. Not only had she lied, but she'd stood there looking _caught _when Chris was implying all of that stuff at the vow renewal.

I had to do something with my idea, so I made this fic a preventative step to the WBB split. Just a way for Lorelai to open her eyes and see what she needs to see without waiting til Luke is five seconds away from leaving her. It's not going to lead into the WBB episode, but taking into acct my fic, the WBB epi will play out differently. Luke won't have the same reaction and end the relationship. Instead, Chris's drunken speech will be taken just as that. Luke will be way more receptive to Lorelai's side in that whole thing _because of this fic_. But that's something in the future--beyond this here lil tale.

What I just revealed won't ruin anything in the story. In fact, it will help to understand some things better. You guys should be able to follow it okay. It's complete, and it's POST-RR. I'd say it takes place a few weeks before Emily and Richard's wedding numéro deux. Okay, I believe that's all you need to know. Nothing left to say except...Enjoy!!

**Dreaming of Reality**

Lorelai stood in front of _Luke's _diner.

This was, of course, a building that she had seen everyday for years. But still, she stood there. Just looking. The reason for this was viable. She had no memory of arriving. None at all.

How was that even possible?

Mornings pre-coffee often seemed off balance. This would typically result in some bad luck, a bad mood, or anything else that fit the pattern. But never had it caused such a disturbing memory loss.

Lorelai's eyes fell to her choice of dress. Which wasn't a dress at all. Not even close. A quiet _'what the hell...?'_ came from her lips as she pulled at the fabric of the pants. They were loose pajama bottoms. Decorating it were dozens and dozens of high heeled shoes. She wore a tight white tank top with _Beauty _printed across the front in fancy print, and on her feet were slippers. Her confusion grew as she lifted her eyes.

"This is incredibly weird," she mumbled as she searched the street. "And not at all fashionable," she added. She watched the town's members stroll along, ignoring her and her attire.

"What are you waiting for?"

Lorelai jumped at the sudden presence beside her. "Whoa!" she exclaimed as she covered her rapidly beating heart.

Her attention went toward a shorter woman. She looked about thirty-five. Very beautiful. Her hair was the color of brown sugar, and she had a voice just as sweet. "What are you waiting for?" she repeated.

Lorelai was cautious in speaking. "Are you...talking to _me_?"

There were chuckles. "Of course I'm talking to you. What are you waiting for?" she asked again. "Go in the diner."

Lorelai's mouth opened and her eyes shifted as she thought of the most polite way to ask the question. "Um...are you confusing me with someone else?"

Her head shook. "No. I'm pretty sure I have the right Lorelai Gilmore. That's you. Lorelai Victoria Gilmore. Victoria's such a dignified name. It feels so completely natural to throw the title of queen before it, ya know?"

Lorelai nodded. "Interesting. Interesting," she said calmly. "Listen, I hope I don't offend you in doing this, but I'm just going to step over this way," she said pointing away from the woman. "It's just a better area. You know, more light. Less..._crazy people_," she muttered as she turned away.

Laughter came from the lady. She walked slowly over to where Lorelai had moved. "My name is Charity."

"Well, I would introduce myself, but you seem to have that covered."

"Yes, I do."

"_How _exactly do you have that covered?"

"It's my job."

"Your job?"

Charity nodded with a bright smile.

Lorelai looked at her for a few seconds. "Okay, well, um nice to meet you, Charity. But I think I'm going to take o--"

"Will you come inside the diner with me?"

Again, Lorelai stared at her. She finally smiled and turned to her fully. "You know, Hon, you really don't look all that threatening. In fact you look very friendly but--"

"Thank you."

"_But..._so did Beverly Sutphin before she went around dicing up the whole neighborhood on her family's behalf." She smiled. "So, I'm going to pass."

Charity laughed. "You're so funny." She held her index and thumb close together. "And just a tad bit on the dramatic side," she added. She waved Lorelai in the direction of the diner. "Now, come along, dear," she began playfully. "It's almost showtime."

Lorelai's eyes followed Charity as she looked for traffic and began journey across the street.

"What do you mean showtime?" Lorelai yelled after her. "What's happening at showtime?"

"You'll see!" was yelled back to her. "Now come on so we can see this hunk of a man of yours."

That got Lorelai's attention. She checked for traffic as well before she was shuffling quickly across the road to catch up to this stranger. She met her near the other side. "I'm sorry, why exactly are you going to see Luke?" she asked, walking next to her.

"Relax," came the cool response.

Lorelai shook her head. "Okay, I've had about enough of this. It's weird enough. You appear from nowhere, you call me by name when I have never met you before in life, you develop this calm sort of stalking thing--"

"You're the one following me," she said rationally.

"Only because you're heading into the diner to see my boyfriend! This is full of purpose, Missy. Who are you, where the hell did you come from, and _why oh why _have you not asked any questions about why I'm in the middle of town dressed like this?!"

Charity looked her up and down. "Oh, this isn't how you usually dress?"

Lorelai scoffed. "Well, yeah. Before I actually _get _dressed."

They made it to the door and Charity pulled it open for both her and Lorelai. "After you."

Lorelai muttered a "jeez" before she led the way inside. Before she could walk to the counter, her name was being called, followed by a light pull on the back of her cotton shirt.

"Let's just stand over here," Charity suggested as she pointed to a spot off to the side of the counter. Lorelai looked around.

"Why? There are like 30 stools open."

"30 stools?"

"I'm just saying that there are a lot of open spots. We don't have to stand over here like we're trying to blend in with the wallpaper." Lorelai glanced at the walls as she made her point. "Uh...speaking of the walls, why the hell are they the dull color they were four years ago?"

Charity tapped her arm. "Look," she said pointing. "There's your handsome fellow." Luke was coming from around back.

Lorelai didn't bother to look. Her eyes, instead, narrowed at Charity. "You know it would really be great if you just chilled with all of theflirtatious Luke stuff, okay? It's getting a little--" She stopped abruptly as her attention had wandered over to him.

Charity looked into her face as she took in what she saw. "Close your mouth, Sweetie."

Lorelai looked at her quickly as she did just that. Her eyes, then, went back to Luke. "Why does he--I mean he can't--what the hell is going on?" she asked loudly. She expected Luke to take notice, along with everyone else in the place. That, however, didn't happen.

"Well--"

"Why does he look like that? He looks like an old him--or a younger him--with years subtracted." She looked at him for a moment. "He looks like he did back then," she said more clearly. She turned her eyes on Charity. "How can that be?"

Charity shook her head calmingly. "Listen, Lorelai, just promise me something, okay." Lorelai was now focused on Luke again. Then on the rest of the diner's crowd. She seemed to ignore Charity's words.

"Have you noticed that no one has looked at me? Or us? Not once," she mentioned. "Hello!" she called loudly. Nothing.

"Lorelai. I need you to promise me something," she said again before taking her shoulders in her hands.

Lorelai brushed her hands away. "Hey now, Missy, we're not chummy just yet. Just because you are the only person that seems capable of actually seeing me and I feel like I'm in some sort of weird time warp, it doesn't mean that we've entered the grabby phase."

"Lorelai."

"This can't be a dream. Dreams are so much more cloudy than this." She looked around. "And this is crystal clear," she said. "But it's okay. I can fix this. I've obviously stepped into the Twilight Zone but I can fix this. I can definitely fi--"

"Lorelai, stop," Charity said as she lightly slapped at Lorelai's hand when it was nearing the opposite arm.

Lorelai looked at her questioningly. "Okay, if I have issues with the grabby thing that you had taken to a few seconds ago, what on earth makes you think I'd be okay with the slappy thing? The slappy thing is _definitely _worse than the grabby thing."

The bell jingled, and Lorelai looked there.

The newest customer was one that certainly made her take notice.

Lorelai stared for seconds. "Well...the weirdo meter has sort of skyrocketed," she announced dully.

_Lorelai: (clutching an empty coffee mug) Please, Luke. Please, please, please.  
__Luke: How many cups have you had this morning?  
__Lorelai: None.  
__Luke: Plus?  
__Lorelai: (pauses) Five. But yours is better._

Charity leaned toward her as they watched the scene play out. "That's you," she whispered.

Lorelai looked at her with wide eyes. "Yeah, _got that_," she replied instantly.

Charity smiled. "Now, first of all, I have to go over the rules with you. There are two."

"Excuse me?"

"The biggest thing--the thing you positively can not do...is pinch yourself."

Lorelai's eyes widened even more. "So, this _is _a dream, then," she hopefully assumed. "Because the mentally unstable thing can't be had by two Gilmores. My mother is doing a pretty good job of holding that down."

"It's not a dream."

"We'll see about that," Lorelai said, getting ready to pinch her arm.

Charity stopped her. "You have to promise me that you won't, at any point, do that. It really does suck because it drags out this whole process. Just promise me."

"I don't _know _you."

"Okay, that's fair. You don't know me. And I'll explain everything...right after you promise that you will not pinch yourself. Not until we're done."

"With what?"

"With everything."

"Can you be anymore vague?"

"Explanation is forthcoming," she said brightly.

Lorelai's eyes moved to the table a few feet away where her real-life self was sitting with her real-life daughter. "Okay, on with it," she said to Charity.

"First you have to promise."

"I don't want to promise until I know what's going on. I mean making a promise is serious business. And what if you snap your fingers or do your little genie nose twitch and we're standing in Luke and Nicole's apartment where they're...doing stuff? I don't want to have to watch that. I'm not _going _to watch that so you better believe the pinching _will _commence."

She shook her head. "That's not what this is about. I'm not going to do that. And also, I don't do any of that snapping and twitching lameness. This is a new day, Honey."

"Oh, jeez, I completely forgot about that!" Lorelai said pointing to the table where a grown man was trying to pick up a sixteen year old Rory. "Can you believe that guy? What a horndog. I just wanted to squeeze his head until his eyeballs popped out."

Charity looked over quickly before getting back to the topic. "Lorelai, do you promise?" There was silence. "If you do pinch yourself, you will snap out of this. You will."

"Good."

"However, _this_," she said pointing around them, "is going to happen one way or another. So, you can pinch your way out any time you feel like it, but every time you close your eyes, you'll end up right back here until we complete this. And it's not like a pause and play kind of situation. Each time we'll start from the beginning."

Lorelai sighed tiredly. "What exactly is the point of this...little revisit?"

Charity's head tilted. "Do you promise?" she asked with a smile.

"Well, it seems I don't have a choice, so sure. I promise," she agreed resignedly.

"Good," she said with exhaustion. "Man, who knew that would be the hard part?" she complained with a chuckle. "Okay, I guess now's a good time to explain."

"That would be good," Lorelai answered as she looked hard at Luke.

"Let's start with me. I'm not a ghost. I'm more a...mind buddy." Lorelai looked to her, confusion and mockery evident. Charity went on before she could say anything. "I'm like an inner you, ya know. I know you hear people say a lot of the time that it's what's inside a person that counts. A person may be beautiful on the outside but not-so-much on the inside?" Lorelai nodded. "Well, this," she said gesturing to herself, "is you."

Lorelai took her in. More thoroughly. "Hm. I have...very pretty insides."

Charity laughed. "No, you have a very pretty heart and spirit. And thanks," she said of the compliment.

Lorelai suddenly gasped. "Please, _pleeease _tell me you've met Emily's person. Does she look anything like the Grand High Witch?"

Charity shook her head amusedly. "I haven't met her, sorry."

"Aw man," Lorelai muttered as her eyes wandered to Luke. Then, there was another gasp. "What about Luke's person? Oh my god," she said slowly. "I bet he's like Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, and a hundred Calvin Klein underwear models all rolled into one person, isn't he? I mean, just unbelievably, _off the charts _hot! Right?"

Charity grinned. "Lorelai, can we get back on the subject, please? Don't you want to know why you're here?"

Lorelai smiled as the image had not completely left her head. "Yeah, I do. Sorry," she finally said.

"You and Luke have been together for three months." Lorelai nodded with a smile. Charity shrugged. "And you adore him. You really do. The way you feel about him isn't something that you've experienced before." Lorelai's eyes fell. "At least not..." she said pausing, "...with anybody who...wasn't Christopher."

"I can tell this is about to be a treat."

"I'm not saying anything that you don't already know." Lorelai looked away. "Now," Charity said in continuance, "as it stands, you have conflict going on inside of you. You have these feelings that you know deep down are just the _tip _of the iceberg. And it's quickly surpassing the mold of what you've held all relationships against. At three months, it's doing this."

"Any way I can just fast-forward through this conversation?" Lorelai asked. Suppression occurred with Lorelai for a reason. A very clear reason. She was not a fan of the self-analysis thing at all.

"And this is new. This feeling. You've always had your feelings for Christopher there, and it's kept all relationships safe. And temporary. And now, to you...in your heart, Christopher is being outranked. Three months into this relationship."

"Wow, you really know how to drive a point home, don't you?" Lorelai asked smartly as she tossed nervous glances to Luke. "I get it. It's only been three months. Can we get to the reason for this little Scrooge-like rewind I'm being taken on?"

"Sure. This can be viewed as a reminder. You and Luke went through so much to get where you are now, and this is something that will add perspective and allow you to realize some things."

"Why do we need perspective? We're doing great."

"The _we _that you're referring to, doesn't. _You _do."

"Because...?"

Charity regarded her. "Because you're you. You panic so easily. These things you're feeling for Luke can trigger that panic, and it'll do just that if you don't--"

"No, it won't," Lorelai said with certainty. Charity was certainly right about the uneasiness, but Lorelai had no plans of letting anything scare her away from this.

Charity continued on as if the interruption hadn't occurred. "--and what you're not going to do is make a mistake that you will regret for the rest of your life."

Lorelai scoffed. "This is crazy."

"And so very necessary."

"Whatever you say, Charity."

"I want you to forget about this. Forget everything we just discussed about the perspective. I need for you to take in what you see, what you hear as we move from point to point. Especially where Luke is concerned. Pay very close attention. This is the starting point," she said motioning around them. "Because I feel like if your life were a television show, this is where it'd begin." Lorelai nodded with disinterest. "We're going to bounce around, looking at different things between you guys. All I want you to do is look. Observe. This is where that second rule I mentioned earlier comes into play. You can't touch anyone."

"But I'm like an apparition. What difference does it make if I do?"

"You're not an apparition, and it does make a huge difference."

"Oh my god, is this one of those things where I can alter all future events of the world?" she asked excitedly.

"You really do watch way too many movies."

"How do you know that?"

"It's my job to know."

"Of course," Lorelai answered with an eye roll.

"But no, it won't alter anything in your reality. Just in this 'dream' world," she replied with air quotes. "It can mess up the sequence, and that'll just cancel out the whole session. We'll have to begin again. It'll be like they can feel the touch or something. It's weird."

"That's happened before?"

"Yeah, it got really insane. We had to erase that session completely."

"Wait, it happened with you?"

"Yeah."

Lorelai looked at her for a moment. "But you're me. You're _my _ghost person. How can you have...done this before?"

"I'm not your person. I'm a likeness. And again, I am _not _a ghost " she said laughing.

"So, what, do you like go around representing thousands of other people?"

"Not thousands. But a few."

"I really don't know how I feel about this. I mean...with the world the way it is, I don't feel comfortable sharing my person, you know?"

She shrugged. "Well, I don't make the rules."

"Really?" Lorelai asked with a slight frown.

"Really."

"Hm. Well, you really _aren't _my person, then."

Charity smiled. "However, I do make the best coffee," she said with a wink, knowing that would gain her some points.

Lorelai looked impressed. She gestured toward Luke. "But not better than--"

"Yes. Better than."

"_Better_?"

"Better."

"Even with--?"

"Even _with_," she answered, not allowing her to finish.

"I guess I stand corrected. You really are my person. Remind me to bow to you later."

"Already have knee pads on standby."

Lorelai smiled. "Okay, any more rules I should be aware of?"

"Nope. There are only two."

"So, shall we get this thing started?"

"Let's."

Charity turned to the diner door, Lorelai behind her. "So," began Lorelai just as she tossed one more glance back at Luke, "um, how exactly does a ghost make coffee?"

Charity rolled her eyes.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

"How did you do that?"

Charity smiled. "It's my thing. I told you snapping your fingers went out with furbies."

Lorelai looked back at the door. "But...we just walked out of the diner...and directly into...the diner."

Charity folded her arms. "I know," she said with disappointment. "It's not all that impressive until we actually get a different setting. Wait til we do it again. It's really cool when it actually leads somewhere different."

Lorelai was still looking amazed. "No...uh, that was pretty cool," she said honestly.

Charity looked at her and smiled. "You're easy to impress."

"Yeah, I know. It all started with the process of condensation in third grade, and it's been a whirlwind ever since."

Charity smiled as she gestured with her chin. "That's you over there."

"Charity, Honey, I don't have the highest IQ in the world, but I really don't need you to keep pointing me out."

She mouthed a 'sorry' as they both tuned in.

_Rory: I think it was really brave of you to ask them for money.  
__Lorelai: Oohh, so...do not wanna talk about it.  
__Rory: So, how many meals is it gonna take til we're off the hook?  
__Lorelai: I think the deli spread at my funeral will be the last one._

"The day my life officially went to hell," Lorelai complained.

"Ssshhh."

"Afraid they're going to hear us?" she asked smartly.

"No, you're gonna miss something."

"Miss what?" Lorelai asked turning back to the scene. She suddenly tapped Charity's arm fast. "Look, look, here comes Luke."

Charity looked over at her, taking in her sudden interest.

_(Luke walks up to Lorelai's table dressed in a blue buttoned down dress shirt, a pair of dark blue jeans, and no hat.)  
Lorelai: (thoroughly impressed) Wow! Y-you look nice. Really..nice._

Lorelai laughed. "This is so embarrassing."

"I'm guessing that was the first time that you saw him without a flannel on."

"You can't tell by the puddle of drool on the table there? God, I'm surprised I didn't just maul him."

"It's cute."

"It's laughing in the face of subtlety."

"Still cute."

Lorelai shook her head as she listened to the continuing dialogue. "My god. Did you see how easily we just moved over that?"

"Many more moments just like this one."

"Is that what the point of this thing is? To show me all of the time he and I wasted? Because if that's the case, I can tell you right now that that is extremely unnecessary. It runs in my head like an old hand cranked film every day of the week."

"Every day you think about that?"

She shrugged, looking at Luke as he walked back around the counter. "Everytime he does something that makes me feel...I don't know. Whatever," she ended dismissively.

Charity smiled. "And everyday he gives you that feeling?"

Lorelai put on a smile and turned to her. "I don't really want to talk about this," she said animatedly. She walked around her to the door. "What's next on the tour?"

Charity turned and pointed a finger at her. "_That_," she said simply. Lorelai looked confusedly at the finger that was in her face. Charity went on. "_That _is the reason why this is necessary. For the rest of our time together, whenever you have questions as to _why we're doing this,_" she said in a whiny voice, "just remember _that_."

"Remember what? What exactly is _that_?"

"That feeling that you just had. That panic. Whatever it was that caused that god-awful fear to form in your eyes."

"You're dilusional, Sweetheart."

"What do you say we move this along?"

"Sure. And hopefully with this change of scenery will come a change in topic."

Charity shrugged as she walked to the door. "Guess we'll see," she stated.

Lorelai shook her head exhaustedly as she followed her. "This is going to be such a long day," she mumbled. "Oy."

Charity laughed. "Oy," she repeated. "What a funny word."

They both walked through the door.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

"Man, you were right. That was way cooler," Lorelai commented.

"I told you!" Charity beamed as they stepped directly through Lorelai's front door. She pointed around them. "And look where we are. Do you recognize this?"

Lorelai gasped, then clapped. "This is Rory's birthday party. My baby's sixteenth birthday party!" she recalled with wide eyes. She moved ahead of Charity, looking at the many attendees that day. "Wow. This is so...incredibly weird," she said slowly with a smile. "And fascinating. I can't believe this," she said looking around.

"You guys had a lot of fun that night, didn't you?"

"You have no idea," Lorelai replied distractedly. She pointed to her dad. "Even _with _my parents here," she replied.

Charity pointed to Sookie coming from the kitchen as they stepped over toward where Lorelai was. "Remember this?" she whispered.

_Sookie: Okay, don't panic.  
__Lorelai: Ooh, good opening line. What's wrong?  
__Sookie: We're out of ice.  
__Lorelai: (gasps) How can we be out of ice. We had a ton of ice. There was like a penguin habitat in there.  
__Sookie: I don't know how it happened. I just know it's happened, and somehow we have to deal with it.  
__Lorelai: Well, I will go and get some.  
__(Sookie breathes a sigh of relief and goes back into the kitchen as Lorelai makes her way over to the door.)_

She and Charity followed her over.

"God, I love this part," Lorelai said with a smile as she walked quickly trying to keep up with her real-life self. She pointed a finger at the red shirt that the _actual _her was wearing. "You know, this was one of my favorite shirts, and I have no idea what I did with it after this night. I mean, at first I thought that Rory--"

"The door is opening," Charity said as a way to bring her back.

Lorelai's eyes flew there, and a smitten smile formed on her lips as Luke came through the door with two big bags of ice. She looked between herself and him.

_Lorelai: (gasps audibly) Oh my god! You're a vision! (turns and yells to Sookie) Sookie, we have ice!  
__Sookie: (sticks her head around corner and sees it's true) Hallelujah.  
__Lorelai: (turns back to Luke, still very excited) How did you know?!  
__Luke: Uh, good rule of thumb is you can never have too much ice.  
__Lorelai: (starts to approach him) Aaaah, you're the best. (she throws her arms around his neck and laughs gleefully.)  
__(Emily comes around corner at that very moment and sees their embrace.)_

"Look at him," Lorelai said ignoring the following dialogue. She stared at Luke. "Just..._look_...at him." She turned eyes to Charity. "Seriously."

"Seriously what?" Charity asked leadingly.

Lorelai placed her hand on her chest. "Watching this is making my heart do that fluttering thing." She smiled, watching Luke walk past her on his way to the kitchen. "Which, I'll be the first to admit, is horribly sappy, but...I swear that's what it's doing," she added as she seemed to move toward him.

"_Don't _touch him," Charity warned quickly as Lorelai looked about ready to do just that.

She turned back with a sigh. "I'm not going to touch him. I was just gonna...invade his personal space a little bit."

"Well, don't even do that."

Lorelai folded her arms with a pout as she watched him disappear into the kitchen. "He's _my _boyfriend, darn it."

Charity laughed at her sudden sulk. "Sorry, Sweetie. Not in here, he's not. He's just your friend. Or _Lorelai's _friend--the _real _Lorelai."

She shook her head slowly. "Well, _Lorelai_'s...obliviousness is making me nauseous." She turned attention to the living room where many were seated. "Do you know that my mother is going to take me upstairs and basically spell it out for me that Luke has a crush on me?"

Charity nodded. "Yep. I know."

"And do you know what I'm going to do?"

Again, she nodded. Of course, she knew.

Lorelai answered anyway. "I laugh." She paused. "That's what I did. She said it, and I laughed."

"Yup."

Lorelai had a noticeable chill run through her. "This is not fun for me. Let's go somewhere else."

"As you wish." Charity waved her behind her. "Follow me."

"Gladly," Lorelai said as she turned her back on the party.

Out the front door, they both went.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

They walked out of Lorelai's home and right onto Stars Hollow's snowy streets.

Lorelai looked up to the heavens, flakes falling onto her face. With a smile, she turned eyes to Charity. "It's snow," she said quietly with a magical look.

Charity nodded. "It's beautiful, huh?"

"It's perfect," she refuted softly as she closed her eyes and turned back to the sky. She spread her arms, and with a questioning look, brought her attention to Charity. "I'm not cold. Why am I not cold?" she asked with surprise.

"Because you're not really here. Your body isn't going to feel or respond to the temperature," Charity explained.

Lorelai looked down at her chest. "Thank God for that. My lack of a _bra _thanks God for that," she replied with amusement. She walked a few paces and looked around. "So, where are we now? This isn't ringing any bells." All of the town re-enacters were standing a few feet away as they stared off into the distance.

"It will," Charity answered. "Just give it a few minutes."

Lorelai turned and looked at the diner. She saw Luke through the windows, and she smiled. "He hates this," she said. "Every year they stand out here like this, and he hates it. He doesn't think it makes any sense."

"Do you?"

She shrugged. "This town, to some, may seem off of its gigantic rocker. But to me..." She paused as she watched them, "...it's home." She smiled. "So anything they do, i.e _this_," she said pointing to all of the men in uniform, "doesn't really evoke judgment. I don't think about it. I just appreciate the uniqueness. It's_ sooo _very different from everything I was raised around. Believe me, that is _good _enough for me."

Charity folded her arms. "You know...Lorelai...you and Luke don't seem to have a whole lot in common," she replied openly.

Lorelai looked at her. "I so disagree with that," she said quietly.

Charity smiled. It was moments like this when Lorelai's true emotions revealed itself. It was in her eyes, her gestures, her features. She was an open diary. Her entire being represented a tell all book. "How do you disagree with it?" Charity asked.

Just as quickly as it had come, it left. Lorelai forced that side of her into retreat. She gestured toward Luke who was approaching. "Here comes Luke."

"He's going to take drink requests from them," said Charity. "I thought you said he hated this, what they're doing."

Lorelai looked at her, a smile forming. "Oh, you're a sly one, aren't you?" asked Lorelai teasingly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she answered innocently.

Lorelai tossed her hands up. "Fine. You want me to say it, I'll say it. I'll try to grab those inner emotions and drag them kicking and screaming to the forefront." She rolled her eyes. "Luke is doing this because he's a great, awesome, and an incredibly caring person. He doesn't like these men standing in front of his diner. He has a personal beef with the clothes their decked out in, but still he brings them drinks so they won't freeze their asses off. He does this because he's so...damn great. You happy?"

Charity's sudden smile widened more. "Why is it so hard for you to say how you feel about him?"

"It's not."

Charity shook her head slowly. "You know, it's one thing to feel a certain way about someone. But it doesn't become real, you don't _really _start to feel it until you _let _yourself feel it. You have got to let yourself feel it." She turned her eyes to Luke, then back to Lorelai. "You've got to let him in."

Lorelai watched as Luke asked each person what they'd like to drink. She looked at him intensely, her brows wrinkling in question when something behind her caught his eye. Quickly she looked over her shoulder to see what had grabbed his attention.

What she saw caused her jaw to drop. It was Max and her. Kissing. In the street. It had been a very long time since she had even thought about him. Once such a huge part of her life, Max had become a distant memory. One who sometimes could be mistaken as an other who wasn't so significant.

"Max," she whispered in recognition.

Remembering what had caused her attention to go there in the first place, her eyes zoomed back to Luke.

He still looked there. To that spot occupied by the schoolteacher and the Lorelai Gilmore who had yet to know what true happiness was.

Lorelai's eyes were locked on his. There was sadness there. Regret. And so much pain that Lorelai felt it emanating from him. It felt like the heat from a volcano. The peak of Dante. She didn't have to be able to feel temperatures to feel that massive flow of radiation.

"He saw me," she said softly. She saw out of the corner of her eye where Charity had walked to her side. But she continued to look at Luke. "He saw me," she repeated louder.

Charity turned and looked at the kissing that was still taking place. She sighed. "Well, yeah," she said looking away. "You guys were standing in full view," she said quietly.

Lorelai shook her head. "I can't believe he saw me."

She and Charity both took in Luke's still pained expression. "This really hurt him," Charity commented.

Lorelai's chest showed noticeable deep breaths being taken. "We...we were just friends," she said, her voice unsteady.

"You and Max. Wasn't that like--"

"Four _years _ago," Lorelai said with disbelief. "He couldn't have--not for four years."

"Try eight."

Lorelai closed her eyes in thought. "No, no. The horoscope thing was different. That was like a...crush... I _know _about the crush. That was like a crush. I'm sure it was."

"Well, if you're _sure_," Charity replied sarcastically.

Lorelai turned to her. "You don't understand," she began. "There was always something there between Luke and myself." She knew she wasn't telling Charity anything she didn't already know. She'd learned that already. "But I figured it was always because he's a boy and I'm a girl, and we're both attractive people, so we both saw the potential. The horoscope was an admittance on his part. And that was nice."

She gestured to Luke. "_This _is not a crush!" she said in near hysterics. "This is so the freaking opposite of a _crush_!"

"Lorelai," Charity said softly to calm her.

Lorelai's hand went to her chest, and she bent over. "Oh...shit, I...c-can't breathe."

"Yes, you can. _Calm down_."

She took long deep breaths, Charity's voice coming through her ears distorted and in slow motion. "I'm...gonna d--...I'm gonna die in oz. I can't die...here...in these clothes."

"You're not going to die," Charity said soothingly. "It's just a rush of emotions. It gets a little intense sometimes in here. Just breathe slowly." She rubbed her back as she remained bent over. "There you go," she said, feeling Lorelai's body relax little by little.

"What the hell was that?" she asked as she erected herself.

"It was your own feelings. That may happen if you feel so much of something at one given time. And someone like you--someone who keeps everything deep down in the depths of her soul may have that happen a lot while in here."

"I do not keep stuff buried in the depths of my soul," she barked defensively. "My soul is as free as a bird, dammit."

Charity thought. "Yeah, you're right. You don't keep everything buried. But when it comes to men, you do. I should have been more specific."

Lorelai's eyes squinted. "You're kind of starting to get on my nerves," she mentioned evenly.

"Oh, you love me," she said with a smile as she playfully hugged her from the side.

Lorelai rolled her eyes and folded her arms, not bothering to acknowledge the body clinging to her. When Charity had disengaged, Lorelai looked at her seriously. "I never meant to hurt him. I _swear_, I...never knew I was hurting him."

"I know, Lorelai."

After pulling himself together, Luke continued taking drink orders. Lorelai watched. "When I look back...to when we were friends, I see it as...a crush, what he had. What _I _had," she said softly. "It was a crush," she repeated again resignedly.

Charity leaned over and whispered. "Maybe. Maybe not," she said, the latter more convincing.

Lorelai looked at her. A small sigh came from her. "Can we go?" she asked quietly.

Charity smiled and looped her arm through hers. "Yeah, we can go," she agreed.

They turned and walked down the empty street.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Lorelai released a huge sigh.

"Back. In. The. Diner," she commented plainly as she and Charity stepped foot inside. They had only taken a few steps away from the re-enactment scene taking place at night, and in the next minute they were walking inside Luke's at mid-day.

"Well, it's not my fault. You're the one who's made this a second home over the years," said Charity.

She smiled. "Girl's gotta eat, right?"

"Sure. Food. That's the reason," Charity said with an eye roll.

"I would dispute that, but what would be the point?"

"Exactly," she said before pointing quickly at the scene before them. Luke approached Lorelai at a table where she was sitting alone.

_Luke: Hey.  
__Lorelai: Hey!  
__Luke: (sort of nervous) Haven't seen you since the other night. Everything turn out okay?  
__Lorelai: Oh yeah, fine. The dating world of sixteen year old girls--very exciting stuff. (she looks down and chuckles briefly)  
__Luke: I bet.  
__(Lorelai looks up at him, and there's brief eye contact before her eyes purposefully fall to the coffee pot in his hand)  
__Luke: Oh, uh, coffee?  
__Lorelai: Do ya have to ask?  
__(he pours and there's a pause before Lorelai looks back up at him)  
__Lorelai: You know, I had a good time the other night...with the cards...  
__Luke: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too.  
__Lorelai: Good.  
__Luke. Yeah. In fact, you...rushed outta here before I had a chance to... (hesitates and looks at her)  
__Lorelai: ...A chance to...? _

"You know how you watch a movie you've seen a hundred times, and you know what's going to happen, but still, you hold out luck it'll somehow change direction?" Lorelai whispers.

_Luke: ...kick your ass in poker._

"It never works."

_Lorelai: (appears to lose her train of thought) You wish.  
__(Lorelai chuckles nervously)  
__Luke: Burger?  
__Lorleai: Two. And fries.  
__(Luke writes down order while looking at her over the pad)  
__Luke: Maybe we could do it again sometime._

"What?" Lorelai asked suddenly alerted. "What'd he say?"

_Lorelai: Oh, yeah, well I... (nervous, then suddenly confident) ...I would like that.  
__(Rory bursts inside, and Luke walks away from the table)_

Lorelai's jaw dropped open as she pointed to a retreating Luke.

"What was--I don't--I _so _do not remember that!"

"You don't?"

"No!" Lorelai walked beside the table where the_ real her _was sitting. "Hello!" she yelled into her ear. "He asked you out!" Her arms flailed about. "Get off your beautiful ass and go over there to seal the damn deal!"

Charity held in laughter. She walked over. "Be careful with the gesturing, Hon."

Lorelai growled and clinched her fists. She turned toward Charity in a state of disbelief. "He asked me out. How can I not remember that?"

Charity shrugged. "It was spontaneous...and quick, and--"

"He asked me out!"

She sighed. "I know."

"And apparently, I just...forgot like five seconds later."

"You didn't forget. It was j--"

"Can I just pinch her?"

Charity laughed. "Sorry, but no."

Lorelai's index and thumb drew close together. "Just a tiny pinch. Maybe behind the ear. I promise I'll be quick."

"No."

"What if I just pulled a strand hair out and--"

"You know you're contemplating assault on yourself right now, don't you?"

Lorelai looked at herself sitting in the seat before she rolled her eyes away. She tossed her hands up and moved around Charity. "Let's go!" she said over her shoulder. "I'm making myself sick. I can't look at me for another second!"

It took a moment for Charity to pull herself together, but once the laughter died down, she followed Lorelai out of the door.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

"A door that takes us from the diner into my bedroom." Lorelai sighed. "If only."

"Stop being gross. Listen up," Charity said directing her attention to a conversation that was already taking place.

_Lorelai: So, tell me more about this Rachel.  
__Sookie: Why are you so curious?  
__Lorelai: Well, because apparently, everybody in town knows everything about it, and I don't like to be out of the loop.  
__Sookie: It's old news.  
__Lorelai: Yes, but I'm fascinated._

"Yeah right, Ms. Eyes Wide Shut. You're jealous! Embarrassingly so."

"Lorelai, go easy on yourself. It is.._you _after all. Love yourself."

"I'll love myself even more when I see this shoe fly across the room and knock me in the head," she said as she picked up a sneaker.

Charity laughed. "This is really bothering you, isn't it?"

"It's right there!" Lorelai exclaimed as she dropped the shoe to the floor. "It's staring me...or _her_...in the face. It's right there! Damn it!"

"It's horrible when something is so obvious, but the person that needs to see it doesn't seem to." She turned smiling eyes to Lorelai. "Or won't admit to seeing it. Don't you agree?"

"Oh boy," Lorelai responded as she rolled her eyes at a snail's pace. "I guess we're talking about _me _me now. Again."

"You are the reason for the season."

"Where's the freaking groundhog when you need him?"

"Lorelai."

Sigh. "What, Charity?"

Charity turned away from the scene. "Do you trust Luke?"

"What are you talking about? Of course I trust him. I wouldn't be with him if I didn't trust him."

"I'm not talking about fidelity."

"Then what other _trust _is there?" she asked with near mockery.

Charity didn't answer for seconds. She, instead, watched Lorelai. She searched her face, her eyes, and watched as the uneasiness of that silence weighed on her. "You know what trust I'm talking about," she answered quietly. "It's the same one that you've kept under lock and key your whole life."

"Well, if that's the case, it's lights out. I'm horrible with keys and I've lost every one I've ever had, so I guess that locked space just became a tomb. Say your goodbyes now."

Charity smiled softly. "You're going to let him in. You're going to admit to yourself that this is the end of the road for you. You're going to see...what is so obvious that it's blinding. This would have happened whether you'd met me or not."

"Okay," she answered in question.

"I'm here to keep it from happening too late."

"What in the hell does that mean?! Would you please just tell me whatever you're trying to tell me?"

Charity waved her along. "Follow me, Lorelai."

Lorelai allowed the frustration to fall away as she complied.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

This time they appeared on the outside of the diner.

Lorelai remembered the day immediately. She shook her head at Charity. "I can't..."

"Just watch," Charity said kindly.

_Lorelai: I feel horrible.  
__Luke: Don't.  
__Lorelai: I stood you up. I didn't even call.  
__Luke: It's okay.  
__Lorelai: I'm a rat. We had a date, and I stood you up.  
__Luke: It wasn't a date. It was just a painting.  
__Lorelai: I'm a rat. I need cheese.  
__Luke: Forget it.  
__Lorelai: Hey, hey, let's reschedule._

Lorelai and Charity stood several feet in front of the diner's door. Off to the side of where the conversation was taking place. Lorelai ignored her own dialogue. She, instead, focused on Luke. Unlike the time he'd asked her out, she hadn't forgotten this. She had stood him up and he was hurt by that. That wasn't something that was easily forgotten.

She moved slowly toward them, choosing to stand behind where she was actually standing. She faced Luke.

_Lorelai: It wasn't an emergency. It was just me being a rat.  
__Luke: Something came up?  
__Lorelai: Yeah.  
__Luke: Something--someONE?  
__Lorelai: Luke.  
__Luke: Am I right?  
__Lorelai: I'm sorry._

Lorelai's eyes were glued to him, water forming at her unwillingness to blink.

"Lorelai." That was Charity.

Luke peaceably dismissed Lorelai and opened the door to the diner. She stood there for a moment before she turned and headed back home where Christopher was waiting.

Lorelai turned on the step and watched her image disappear down the street. Confusion was written across her face. She simply had no comprehension on what was happening.

Her heart _now _couldn't form understanding of how it was possible to leave this man wounded. Her heart _now _would not leave choice of what to do. Her heart _now _would have had Rory's father wondering where she could possibly be at such an early hour as she waited to get a second, third, and fourth chance to apologize to _Luke_. Her heart _now _would not allow Luke to go another second thinking he didn't matter to her.

Her heart _now _wouldn't have forgotten about the painting at William's Hardware.

She looked to Charity and shook her head with disbelief. "Jesus," she whispered before she was opening the diner's door. She stepped inside and closed herself off, forgetting about the tour guide who was taking her through this roller coaster of a past.

The door opened again, and Charity came in. "Are you okay?" she asked, immediately spotting her walking around the counter to where Luke was.

"I'm not going to touch him, if that's what you're thinking," Lorelai said.

"I know you're not. I just wanted to know if you were okay," she answered with compassion.

"No, I'm not okay," Lorelai responded as she stopped just short of him. "Look at Luke. I'm okay when he's okay. Does he look okay to you?"

Charity didn't have to look at him to answer the question. But she did. "No," she answered. "He doesn't."

"Then I'm not okay," Lorelai said quietly.

"Sorry, stupid question, I guess."

Lorelai looked up into Luke's face. "It's not a stupid question," she said. "I'm sorry that I keep taking all this ou--"

"Don't you dare apologize. Whatever you're feeling, by all means, let it show. Even frustration toward me. It's totally cool."

"It's never cool. Not in my book, it's not," she said seriously.

Charity shrugged. "I know," she said. "It's part of who you are, and it's the reason I'm so hot. So, thank you," she replied, causing Lorelai to catch on and smile.

Lorelai's focus went to the countertop that Luke was staring at. Her eyes traveled up his arms, chest, neck, and back to his face. She looked away again, not able to house the pangs that stung her on his behalf.

"Let's go, Charity," she said, reluctant to leave Luke's side. But she knew it was nothing she could do. Not now. She smiled sadly as she passed by Charity. "So not a crush," she said quietly.

They exited.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

_Sookie: Just watching it made me feel smarter. Don't you feel smarter?  
__Lorelai: Just the opposite, actually.  
__Sookie: We should do something else good for us--go to a museum or play chess.  
__Lorelai: I promised Rory we'd go to Luke's afterwards.  
__Sookie: Even better.  
__Lorelai: I gotta tell ya, I am still pretty peeved about how he acted earlier. I swear that guy runs so hot and cold on me.  
__Sookie: What?  
__Lorelai: Well, one minute, he's all sweet and building me a huppah and the next, he's being a total jerk for God knows what reason.  
__Sookie: 'For God knows what reason'? Come on, Lorelai. (she laughs)  
__Lorelai: What?  
__Sookie: Don't you understand that Luke is so into you?  
__Lorelai: Okay. Stop.  
__Sookie: He has had to watch you go from one guy to another and then the engagement and then the engagement was off. And patiently, he's waited. And now, in walks this kid, and he says 'my god, will she date anyone else in the world before she'll date me'?  
__Lorelai: Sookie, that--  
__Sookie: Hey, maybe it's crazy. Maybe it's irrational. But it's there. Just look the guy in the eye. It's right there.  
__(Lorelai scoffs)_

Lorelai watched the entire scene silently, her eyes moving from herself to Sookie and back again. She watched both of them exit the coat closet, and her eyes fell to the floor.

"I saw it, ya know."

"Saw what?" asked Charity.

"That thing that Sookie was talking about. When we left here and went to the diner, I talked to Luke. And...I saw it."

"And what exactly did you make of it?"

She shook her head. "Nothing." She paused. "Nothing big. I figured it was attraction. The same one that I had for him. Just a stupid crush that I didn't think was worth our friendship. Too scared to risk it, I guess."

"Maybe that was what you guys needed to do at the time. Maybe you needed to keep it at a friendship level."

"Our past...is chocked full of moments and instances of me...hurting him."

Charity took her by the hand. "Let's continue, okay?"

Lorelai nodded vacantly as she was pulled along.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Lorelai wasn't surprised at all as they walked through the diner's door. She spotted herself pouring coffee into a mug.

"The night I told my parents about Christopher," she said aloud in remembrance.

_Lorelai: This is the second time I've let myself do this.  
__Luke: Do what?  
__Lorelai: Think I'd finally found it.  
__Luke: Found what?  
__Lorelai: Love, comfort, safety.  
__Luke: Ah.  
__Lorelai: I mean first with Max, which of course, I screwed up and then with Christopher which of course, all the...elements of the universe got together to screw up.  
__Luke: Yep, it' s tough when the universe is against ya. That's like taking on the Manhattan Garbage Union.  
__Lorelai: I always thought that if he could just get it together, grow up...maybe we could do it. Maybe we could really be a family in the stupid, traditional, Dan Quail, golden retriever, grow old together, wear matching jogging suits kind of way. And then he did get it together. He became that guy. And he gets to be that guy with...her._

"I'm sitting here crying and complaining and breaking down about another man."

"That appears to be the case."

"And he's just...taking it." She stared at him. "He looks like he wants to rip his ears off...but he's here for me." She gestured toward where she was sitting on a stool, spilling her guts out. "And I don't even notice. All I can focus on is Chris."

"Well, Christopher is Rory's father, and he means a lot to you. And..despite your desire to abandon any beliefs instilled to you in the Gilmore home, you believe in traditional families. I can understand why you'd think Chris is--"

"Was! He was. I'm sitting here clinging to a stupid notion about what I think a family unit is. I'm hanging onto something that I wanted at sixteen years old! How the hell can I possibly think that that's worth all of this?!" Lorelai moved close to the counter. "He's moved on!" she yelled in her own ear. "That's the best thing that could happen to you. Now, for the love of God, open your eyes and see.." She turned and pointed at Luke theatrically "...him! He's standing right here! Your future is _right here_. He is your ticket to getting all of that crap that you want. Just see him! For Heaven's sake..."

She slumped on a stool tiredly. "Why can't I just see him?" she asked with defeat.

_Lorelai: I just..I feel like..I'm never going to have it--the whole package, you know?_

"What's wrong with me?"

"Got a few hours?" Charity joked. Lorelai looked at her, too exhausted to form an expression of displeasure. "Sorry. Bad joke," Charity said with a light chuckle.

"I think I--I might have an allergy toward happiness."

"Lorelai--"

"That has to be it."

"The thing is--"

She shook her head determinately. "I can't mess this up, Luke and I. I would never mess this up." She looked at Charity. They held contact for many seconds. Lorelai smiled slightly. "I'm gonna mess this up, aren't I?"

Charity was silent.

Lorelai looked away, laughing at herself. The self that she, at the moment had no connection with. "You know what's going to happen," she assumed. Her eyes fell as the words left her lips. "I'm going to do something. To hurt Luke, right? I...can only assume that Christopher will be involved because...I'm sort of high maintenance, so when I screw up, I tend to do it royally."

"Lorelai. You're not going to cheat on him," Charity said softly, seeing Lorelai quietly shutting down as if it'd already taken place.

"No, well, not now, right? Because this is what this is for. To keep that reality from happening," she said, her eyes still low, her voice cold as if she'd formed hate for her being.

"No, that wouldn't have--"

"I mean, why wouldn't I cheat on him? He's perfect. He's perfect for me. So why _wouldn't _I do something completely stupid and hurtful?"

"You are not--"

She laughed mordantly. "And of course I wouldn't be able to depend on Chris to be my voice of reason while I'm making this earth shattering mistake," she said suddenly holding his character up for scrutiny. "Self-interest isn't exactly something that's lacking in his personality cocktail."

Charity shook her head, making one final attempt to get words out without being cut off. "Lorelai, you are not going to have sex with Christopher. Whether you had met me or not, you wouldn't have done that. You'd never do that to Luke." She laughed. "He'd probably have to kick you out of his life in order for something like that to happen. So relax."

Her body did show relief. Slowly.

"So, what is it that I do?"

"It's moreso what you don't do that's the problem."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember you and Luke's first date?"

"Of course I do. Now that would be one place I definitely wouldn't mind dropping in on. Can we go there?"

Charity chuckled. "Sorry, that's not on the scheduled tour."

"Come on, Ms. Frizzle, what if I begged?" she joked with little enthusiasm.

"On that date," she said with a wink as she continued on, "Luke told you that this was it for him. He said he was all in with you. Has he shown that?"

Lorelai couldn't hesitate even if she had wanted to. "Yes," she answered. "He has."

"Okay," Charity continued, "have you shown him?"

Lorelai scoffed. "Why wouldn't I be completely in the relationship? Can't you tell I'm in the thing?"

"_I _know how you feel about him. _You _know how you feel about him," she went on to say. "The only person who doesn't know...is Luke."

"He knows what he means to me, okay."

"Does he?" Charity asked with doubt.

"How could he not?!"

"I don't know," Charity replied quickly. "Maybe it has something to do with you never telling him."

"Ooohhh my god!" Lorelai growled in frustration. "Luke knows me, okay? He knows how I feel. Just trust me."

"Trust. There's that word again. I was just getting back around to that."

"Ever feel like you're stuck on a merry-go-round, getting absolutely nowhere?"

"Nope, never," she answered. "Now, follow me."

"One of these times, we're actually going to finish a conversation here!" Lorelai complained as she slid off of her stool and followed her out.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Next, they were standing in front of the crap shack, snow all around.

"Hello friends!" Lorelai said gleefully as she bent down and scooped up a handful of flakes. She tossed it up over Charity's head, causing it to sprinkle down onto her.

"Thank you for that," Charity said flatly as she brushed it off of herself.

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," Lorelai sang as she held her arms out.

"Actually, it's about a month after Christmas right now."

"There's supposed to be snow in _real _life too. In a couple of days. So, when I step back through that wardrobe, I think I'm gonna take Luke outside and let him see it with me." Charity smiled. "He'll complain the entire time, and I'll lure him into the moment with my greatest gift."

"Your sexuality?"

"No, my verbosity." Again, she laughed. "And he'll give in and kiss me under the falling flakes, and it'll be so perfect."

"Really?" Charity asked on the verge of laughter. "_Luke_?"

Lorelai followed her in laughter. "Yeah, that's my imagination and I running off to far away places," she admitted. "But he will come, and we'll see it together, and the perfect part will still happen."

"Because it's Luke?" she asked knowingly.

Lorelai smiled. "Something like that."

They both turned when Luke's truck pulled into the yard. He went into the back of his truck and pulled out a fully inflated pool before going around back and getting Lorelai's garden hose.

Lorelai giggled. "This is like backstage stuff. I didn't see him do this. When I came outside, this was already set up," she said watching Luke fill the pool.

"You have the inside scoop," Charity added.

Lorelai sighed and folded her arms as she smiled down at Luke. With a small nudge, she bumped Charity. "Hey, any chance we're almost done with this?"

"With this part or with the whole thing?"

"The whole thing," she answered.

Charity shrugged. "We're done whenever you get it. Who's to say _when _that's going to be. I have plenty more to show you."

"What if I were to tell you that I get it?"

"Then, I'd probably be a little shocked. And more than a little relieved."

"Can you tell if I'm lying?"

She smiled. "Yup."

"I figured."

Charity turned to her. "So...what exactly do you get?"

"It," she said simply. "I get _it_. I do. And I don't really want to turn it into a discussion but I really do get it."

Charity nodded, not taking her eyes from her. "So, you get what I mean by the lock and key?"

Lorelai nodded. "I got it then. I just--Ya know, it's a little weird to think of it like that. I've been protecting myself, and maybe I was closing myself off to love, but I don't regret it. I don't. Max was a great guy, but we didn't click, so I don't regret doing what I did. And Chris...well, he's the reason for the damn hypothetical lock in the first place. He took off and barriers went up. Simple as that. But yet, it's always been my belief that he was it for me. For sixteen years, I've carried around that notion. And that's exactly what it is. It's a notion, a belief--one that has been disproven so many times over these past few months that I'm surprised I still acknowledge it."

Charity smiled. "I thought you didn't want a discussion," she said softly.

"Shut up, my heart is exposed right now. Let it speak," she replied with a weak eye roll. She took a soft breath as she watched Luke work on the makeshift pond. "I don't know what it is that I do to him. And to be honest, I don't want to know."

"If it makes you feel better, it's not something awful. It's just--"

"I don't want to know."

"Okay," Charity stated in peace.

Lorelai's eyes remained on him. "This is weird. _This_, you, this whole thing is incredibly weird."

"I can imagine it would be."

"But," she continued, "I'm glad to have met you." Charity smiled as Lorelai went on. "If you are the reason why he and I won't go through whatever it was we were to go through...then I'm extremely happy to have met you." She still looked ahead at Luke. "I don't want this to end," she finished quietly.

Charity shrugged. "Well, Lorelai, all good things must come to an end." Lorelai looked at her. "We've had our time together, and it was _fun_, but--"

"Hey, ghost of Stars Hollow's _past_? I'm talking about burger boy. Not you." Charity playfully frowned. Lorelai smiled. "With you, I am _very _ready to leave." That time Charity gasped audibly causing laughter to pour from Lorelai. "_Because_," she continued, getting serious. "The sooner I leave here, the sooner I can get back to Luke."

"Well, in that case, I'm not as hurt. Duty calls."

"Yes it does."

Luke finished filling the pool and went to his truck where he honked the horn for Lorelai. She came outside dressed like a traveling bait and tackle shop.

Lorelai giggled as she stood next to Charity. "Now, those are some happening threads," she commented. "I looked like a professional fisherperson."

Charity laughed suddenly. "I bet the guy who sold you that stuff laughed his head off when you left the store," she countered.

"Only out of happiness for making such commendable sale," Lorelai defended.

"_Commendable_?" she asked dubiously. "Okay, yeah, _commendable _in that he sold something that had been in inventory for _years_. He probably had an ongoing bet with somebody on whether or not it would move. That happiness you saw was fifty bucks in his pocket."

"Your jealousy is not becoming."

"Did you keep the receipt?"

Lorelai squinted at her. "Are you trying to imply that I should have taken it back?"

"No, I'm telling you, _straight out_, that you should have taken it back." Lorelai rolled her eyes. "It shouldn't have even left the store." Lorelai sighed. "You shouldn't have even given it a second look. In fact, when you looked at it the first time, you should have gone over and--"

"It's obvious to me that you have an inability to appreciate high fashion. You are an _ant _to the fashion world."

"Says the woman walking through town in pajamas."

"Ugh. Low _blow_." She looked down at her clothes with a pout. "You _know _I'm sensitive about my appearance here in Never-Never-land."

Charity laughed. "I'm sorry. If it's any consolation, they're very cute pajamas."

Lorelai folded her arms sorrowfully. "It helps a little."

"_Good_," she playfully mocked. Lorelai looked over at her, a smile spreading across her face as she turned attention to the conversation before them.

_Luke: So tell me why you're doing this.  
__Lorelai: Because you told me to.  
__Luke: Mm. I mean tell me why you're learning to fish.  
__Lorelai: Oh. I told you. Some of my friends are going--  
__Luke: What friends? Sookie?  
__Lorelai: What?  
__Luke: Is Sookie going fishing?  
__Lorelai: Well--  
__Luke: (shrugs) Or Rory. Rory suddenly get the overwhelming urge to dig for worms and stand in the middle of a lake at 5am?  
__Lorelai: Yes??  
__(Luke scoffs and smiles at her)  
__Lorelai: Okay, fine. I met this guy._

Lorelai smiled as she leaned into Charity. "This was highly uncomfortable for me," she revealed.

Charity chuckled. "I can tell."

"Luke had this thing that he would sometimes do. He did it here, and I remember he also did it when I told him about Max and I getting married. He just sort of took on this tone while asking me stuff. It just made me feel really stupid. And regretful for doing whatever I was doing. I hated that."

"I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it," she appeased.

Lorelai regarded her. "Yes, he did. He _totally _did," she ended in a light chuckle. She settled her eyes back on him. "He was trying to put me on the spot."

"At least you always kept your wits about you," Charity teased.

Lorelai smiled. "Funny." In actuality, she'd start to stutter, and like with her and Max's news, lash out. "If only I had taken time to analyze why I couldn't tell him things. I could tell the rest of the world and be fine with it. But him..." She shook her head.

Charity sighed deeply. "Well, you eventually came to figure it out."

"That, I did."

"And you never looked back," she added.

"Not once," she whispered. Her eyes went wide as she looked at her. "You know except for this...one time...here," she said aloud while pointing around them. "_This _is kinda looking back." Charity chuckled. "But other than this...it's a no."

_Luke: I think that's great.  
__Lorelai: Thank you.  
__Luke: When are you going?  
__Lorelai: Sunday morning.  
__Luke: Oh (nods thoughtfully) Well, it's hard to be a fisherwoman without your own pole. You can borrow one of mine if you want.  
__Lorelai: Really?  
__Luke: Yeah, and I've got an extra little tackle box too. If you want.  
__Lorelai: That would be great._

"He's an awesome guy," Charity whispered to Lorelai with a smile.

"Super awesome," Lorelai said quietly.

Charity smiled and turned to Lorelai. "So, you think you're ready to join the real world?"

"Oh _yes_!" Lorelai replied giddily.

"No need of getting all excited. This _is _the end of a beautiful friendship."

Lorelai waved her hand. "Nonsense. I've already scheduled us some time tomorrow night. When I fall asleep, we're gonna meet up and catch a movie."

Charity laughed. "No, unfortunately, once you leave here, you won't even remember me. It's gonna appear as one of those vague dreams with details blurred beyond recognition."

Lorelai's face showed worry. "Well, if I don't remember, how will I talk to Luke? I have to remember! I'm sorry, but you have to go get some orders from your supervisor or something. I can't--no--I'm not going to wake up oblivious and continue down whatever road I'm headed down. That's not an option." She shook her head non-stop, showing her strong stance on the subject.

Charity touched her arm calmingly. "Lorelai, stop before you give yourself whiplash." She smiled. "Don't worry about anything. The memory loss thing doesn't apply at all to what this whole experience was intended for. You know what must be done. As long as you truly feel this is something you have to do, you'll be fine. You'll wake up, and..." She shrugged. "The feeling will be there."

Lorelai stared intensely at her. She nodded at her words. "Yeah, I know what must be done," she repeated. "I suddenly feel like I'm in a Star Wars movie, but I do know," she ended.

"Good."

A light sigh came from Lorelai. "So um...guess this is it, huh?" Charity nodded, looking around them. Lorelai smiled a little. "I'm a little sad. You kind of grew on me."

Charity shrugged. "I have a tendency to do that. I try to remain likeable so people don't mind having me around as much." She frowned daintily. "I guess I overdue it, huh?"

Lorelai rolled her eyes dismissively, but at the same time, leaned in for a hug. They embraced. "Thanks for showing me around, Hon. Couldn't have picked a better tour guide."

Charity pulled away. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's not get sentimental here." She pointed a finger. "You just get your heiney back to your guy, and don't make me come back after you. Cause I'll do it!"

Lorelai smiled wide. "That definitely won't be necessary. Once is _plenty_. I'm already afraid some part of this will slip into my memory bank ensuring me space on some doctor's couch. No way am I gonna double my chances."

Charity nodded with satisfaction. "Okay. You just made my day."

Lorelai smiled. "So, how do we do this?"

Charity pointed ahead of them. "Just walk that way," she said simply. "Don't look back. Few steps, you'll wake up, and you'll have no knowledge of this. Or of me."

Lorelai looked out into the snow covered distance. "Out there?"

"Out there," she confirmed. Lorelai nodded thoughtfully. Her eyes went over to Luke.

"Just one sec," she said to Charity before scampering over to him. He stood holding a fishing pole next to a talking Lorelai. Lorelai looked around Luke to herself before she was leaning close to him. "Don't worry, Luke. It's gonna get better. I promise." Lorelai heard Charity call her name as she made the move. But still, she got on her toes and kissed his cheek.

Pulling away, she focused on him. He'd been swaying slightly. And as Lorelai's lips left that familiar, course area on his face, he froze.

She watched him intently as his eyes went to the side where she stood. His gaze was downcast, and he blinked. Lorelai could see clearly that he was on a voyage with his thoughts. He had such a heedful mind. He tried to rationalize every occurrence. And he was currently trying to do that, she could see.

_"Luke?" Nothing. "Luke?" (Lorelai waves hand in his face) "Earth to Luke!"  
__He turns to Lorelai slowly. "Sorry, what?"  
__Lorelai laughs. "Where'd you go?"  
__He shook his head dismissively. "Just thinking about something. What were you saying?"  
__Lorelai thinks for a second. "Uh...yeah okay I was telling you about..."_

Lorelai turned to look at Charity as she saw her come beside her.

"I should have known you were about to do that," she said with a smile. "It's okay, though. We're finished here."

Her eyes turned back to where he had picked conversation back up with Lorelai. "So, in that case, can I have phantasmal sex with him then?"

"If you wanted to give him a heart attack," Charity replied laughingly. "Don't worry, in no time at all, you'll be able to be with him for real."

Lorelai nodded. "I'll take that as my cue." She stepped away, giving Charity one last smile. "I think I can take it from here, Charity." She looked at her seriously. "I appreciate this more than you'll ever know."

Charity crossed her arms and nodded. "I know you do," she responded. She smiled wide. "Now, _go_."

Lorelai turned. "Sick of me already, huh? Pushing me outta the imaginary door." She began to walk. Slowly, she shook her head. "That's ghosts for ya," she teased loudly.

Charity bent down and scooped up a snowball. She chucked it into the air perfectly. It landed back on the ground where Lorelai had been.

She was gone.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Lorelai awoke suddenly.

She hadn't intended on sleeping for so long.

Her eyes went to the alarm clock, and she saw that an hour had passed. It was 10:30pm.

She flipped off the television and got out of bed quickly. "Luke?" she called. She went to the top of the stairs and looked down into the living room. "Luke, you here?" She got no answer, and she sighed and descended the stairs. He was still at the diner.

She surveyed the area just to make sure before heading into the kitchen for a drink of water. Before making it to the cabinets, she heard the sound of the front door.

Her direction changed smoothly, and she hurried to the foyer.

Luke came inside, and just as he shut the door, he saw Lorelai appear. "Hey," he said tiredly. "What are you still doin'--whoa!" he exclaimed just as Lorelai happily jumped into his arms. He smiled a little and shook his head. "What are still doin' up and roaming?" he asked again.

"Just got up, actually. I took a little nap."

He kissed her cheek and took off his hat as he stepped around her. "You don't take _naps _at 10 o'clock at night. You go to sleep."

She went to face him, keeping him in place. "Well _I _take naps," she refuted. "I do the actual sleeping thing when you get here. You should know that. You've never found me asleep."

"What, you can't sleep without me or something?" he inquired lightly.

"Yeah, I can," she said as her hands went to his flannel buttons. She started unfastening them. "I just don't like to."

He looked down at her hands casually. "How was the day at the inn? You didn't stop in today," he commented.

Lorelai finished with the buttons and pulled the flannel over his shoulders, removing it. "I know. I was busy most of the day, and when I left, it was late, so I figured I'd just see you here." She moved in and kissed his lips softly. "I did miss you, though," she said pulling away. He smiled. She knelt down on the floor in front of him and started undoing his laces. "You really have to consider upholding the rules of _dinestry_, Luke. Most diners close early, like after lunch is served. Because it's a _lunch _kind of environment. I wouldn't mind if you started doing that."

He looked down at where she worked. "Would you mind me being a Kept man? Because I'm guessing that you'd be the one to support me through my bankruptcy."

She shrugged, keeping her eyes on her task. "I wouldn't mind at all. I could be your sugar mama. It'd be an honor," she replied playfully.

He rolled his eyes, taking notice as she pulled the tightened laces loose on his boots. "What are you doing?" he asked amusedly. "I think I can handle undressing myself."

She finished and stood up. "I know." She motioned at him. "Kick 'em off," she said of the shoes. Luke gave her a quizzical look before complying. She picked them up just as Luke started to bend down and do it.

He erected himself, watching confusedly as she placed them neatly against the wall. "Lorelai, what are you--"

"How often is it that you stay over here?" she asked with curiosity. She went back to him, placing her hands on his buckle. She paused as she tried to figure out the answer to her own question.

"I don't know," he said, not even attempting to figure out an answer.

She smiled and started unloosening his belt. "I know we stay at your place a lot. Mainly because you get off later than I do, and I hate to have you come all the way over here. And you work and sleep in the same building. Whereas, I _have _to travel. From the inn to home. Regardless. And since my last stop of the night before going home is always the diner, it's convenient for us to crash at your place."

He shrugged. "Never thought of it like that."

"You haven't?" she asked as she slid his belt out of the loops. He shook his head, no. She sighed and looked him up and down before running her hands along the sides of his t-shirt. Luke grasped her neck gently and kissed her temple with affection that Lorelai had gotten spoiled by in the few short months. He pulled away to find Lorelai with a smile. She got on her toes and pressed her lips onto his softly, keeping them there for several long seconds. She broke it and did it again.

Falling to her own height, she brought her face close to his chest, taking in his scent.

"_I've _thought about it," she said.

"Thought about what?" he asked.

"About our sleeping situation. I rationalized it until that conclusion was reached. About a month ago, I did that."

His hand went to her hair and he fingered her curls. "Hm," he responded amenably.

"I don't really like to be away from my stuff."

"Okay...?" He paused. "So, you don't want to stay over my place anymore?"

"No, no, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I don't like to be away from my house and my stuff and my TV night after night. But I am. I do that for you."

"Oh. Well, thanks," he said slowly, wondering if she was searching for gratitude.

Lorelai laughed. "Will you just listen to me for a second?"

"Sorry. Go on."

She wrapped her arms around his waist and took a calm breath before continuing. "I'm selfish, Luke," she revealed apologetically.

"What?" Luke asked with a grimace. "You're not _selfish_." That wasn't true in the vaguest sense of the word.

She shook her head. "No, I am. And I recognize that about myself." He still showed disagreement. She went on. "And I don't mean with the world or with other people. I mean with me. When it comes to how I spend my time, where I spend my time, and anything else surrounding _me_, I don't have a lot of wiggle room. I never have. I blame Emily. I don't know why, but that seems about right."

"Lorelai, what are you talking about?"

"I stay over at your apartment. Every night you don't _choose _to sleep here. I never pressure you to stay here with me and my stuff. I go to you."

"I don't kn--"

"Your apartment is boring, Luke. Boring and brown and...a little depressing. Remind me to get you a decorator, okay? Just to spiff it up and bring it into the new millineum. I mean, you have a television with a pull knob for god's sake."

"You know, it's been a long day, Lorelai. This conversation, as fun as it is, is not making it any better."

"But I don't care about any of that," she continued. "All that matters to me is that you're there. Even if you come upstairs and go to sleep three seconds later because you're so tired, you're still there. And I don't think about anything else. I don't _care _about my stuff when I'm in your old, boring apartment," she said meaningfully.

"Ah, jeez." He rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"My point is, I can't be selfish with you." She shrugged. "I can't. Because I see your point of view way before I see mine. And it's not exhausting or _trying _and not even close to being a sacrifice. It's not any of the things I thought it would be when I finally found this."

She was rambling way too much, and Luke was dead tired. But he always gave her what she needed. And apparently today, she requested all of his fortitude.

"When you found what?"

"My tolerator. My person. My diner man. The last person I want ever to flip my burger."

He frowned. "What is that? A metaphor?" She smiled. "Have you ever known me to be a metaphor guy? Just say whatever you need to say because to be honest I feel like I'm about to fall out right here, and I really just want to go to--"

"I'm in love with you."

His mouth remained opened, and he looked at her with widened eyes.

Lorelai swallowed nervously as her eyes went off to the side and back to his a few times. "I've...uh...never said that to a guy before," she confided quietly. "I've never been _able _to. So, there's a chance that..." She balled his shirt in her hands with unease. "I-I don't know if I did it right." She looked at him shyly. "Did I do it okay?"

He still looked at her wordlessly, and she felt her heart beat increasing with that deadly silence. "_God_, Luke, I need you to say something," she closed her eyes and whispered with plead.

Just as she got ready to open her eyes, she felt Luke's mouth on hers.

"Mm," she moaned in surprise. But she responded to his urgency. His hands dropped to her waist, and he held her tightly against him as he walked her backward.

They deepened the kiss, and Lorelai kept moving until she felt herself against the bottom of the staircase. Luke's lips went to her neck, and he gave the area ample attention as she breathily whispered his praises.

His hands dropped from her waist to the backs of her thighs. He lifted her and helped her wrap her legs around his waist. Lorelai reached between them and unfastened his pants. "Upstairs," she said jaggedly. He already appeared to be heading there. He'd turned away from the wall with her firm in his arms.

The stairs took minutes to ascend, as every so often they'd stop. The wall would get used as support. Lorelai would be pushed up against it, heat and desire overtaking them both. When they made it up, she was lowered to the bed as her legs and arms stayed wrapped around Luke's body. He laid atop her, pressing his crotch into hers even more. Lorelai's frenzy increased, and she just needed to feel him.

Getting his shirt up and over his head signaled the race. It became a bolt toward that end. She needed him inside of her. He needed to _be _inside of her.

Their clothes didn't get thrown very far, as that was energy that would be wasted.

Lorelai reached down and took him in her hand. She could feel the heat from that organ. He was fully erect. Ready and willing to work until he wasn't.

She put him at her opening and immediately grabbed ahold of his lower back as he pushed into her. Her raptures were sweet and low. She whispered into Luke's ear words that she knew would make him drive it home.

He took his lips and tongue from her skin to her mouth, and he made her forget words.

They kissed like it was going out of style. Or like it was in style and they had to show the world how to properly rock it.

Lorelai's orgasm came like a thunderous roar. Powerful. Her insides clamped up like it'd experienced the taste of a lemon. Luke soon followed her with mighty roars of his own. His body relaxed on hers. And they breathed.

He kissed her face several times before moving to her lips. He kissed her deeply for a full minute before Lorelai loosened her grip and allowed him to pull away. His current exhaustion tripled his earlier one, but it was one that he could never complain about. Moving to the side of her, he helped her move toward him. Her back went to his front.

Lorelai allowed her breathing to calm completely as she stroked his fingers.

Luke had passionate kisses and sweet touches that Lorelai was crazy about. It contrasted so much with his easily embarrassed, grouchy side that the town saw. He made moisture form when he kissed her, and he caused her to stifle moans when he touched her body. Anywhere on her body. He had skills that she appreciated. From the beginning, she was grateful. It ensured that she wouldn't potentially fall for a guy who could do nothing for her when the lights went out.

She would never have to worry about that.

Her hand stroke continued.

Luke buried his face in her hair. "I love you too, ya know."

She smiled. "Yeah, I kind of got that."

He kissed the back of her head. "Good."

She turned in his arms a little, and he planted soft kisses on her shoulder. "I don't know why I'm just saying this," she said quietly. "I've felt it for a while."

He kissed one final time and sighed deeply. "It's okay. I knew."

She looked over her own shoulder and met his eyes. "You did?" she asked.

"Well, I...figured. I knew it was a possibility."

"Really?"

He nodded. "But it's nice to know for sure. Lets me know you're not just biding time until something better comes along."

Lorelai smiled slightly, wrinkling her brows. "You weren't actually worried about that, were you?"

He shrugged. "Just saying." Lorelai looked to him solemnly for seconds. She hoped that was his weary sense of humor at work. Because she hated to think he had harbored such serious insecurities. She used all will to move past that unpleasant possibility. She went on, her tone both staidly and jestful.

"Well, I have news for you, my friend. My biding days are over." She relaxed against him again. "I've bided with the best of them, and I've come to realize that this..." she said caressing his arms that were wrapped around her "...is where it's at."

He smiled and started to once again press kisses to her skin. "You sure? Cause I want you to be happy."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "I will never truly be happy until the world breaks down and admits that brunettes have _way _more fun. I mean even Renee Zellweger came over to the party side, and she was like the leader of the pack." She heard Luke sigh, and she giggled. "I've never been more sure, Luke," she finally answered.

Lorelai felt his lips spread against her back before he kissed her three times and got comfortable on the pillow. "That's good to know. It'd suck if you were staying out of a sense of duty," he joked. He yawned audibly causing Lorelai to follow. "Or charity or something," he added groggily.

"Out of what?"

His eyes closed. "Charity. Like kindness." He patted her stomach. "I was just kidding with you."

She turned her head. "I know, but..." Her eyes squinted.

Seconds of silence passed. "But what?" he asked distracted by the prospect of sleep.

"I don't--that...word--" She frowned in uncertainty. "...Or _name_??"

He yawned again. "What are you talking about?"

Her frown went deeper as her recognition waned. "When you said it, it struck a chord, and I have _no idea _why it struck a chord."

"What chord is getting...struck?" he asked, eyes still closed.

"Well none _now_," she said as if he should have known. "But it did. I swear it did. As soon as you said it, it did." She thought for moment, then shrugged as she simultaneously replied, "Charity. _Charity_," she said again trying to lure the familiarity back. " _'What are you doing today?'...'Oh, you know, just a little work for charity.' _Charity. Charity..." She looked back at Luke. "Nothing."

He never opened his eyes. "You're losing it."

"But Luke, I swear--"

"Lorelai, it's a very nice word, and I'm fascinated by it too," he said blandly. "But you know what I'm more fascinated with?"

She sighed and laid her head back on the pillow. "Let me guess. Sleep," she answered sourly.

"Ding, ding, ding, ding," he intoned.

"Oh, you're hilarious. You just remember this night. The night you lost true regard for you girlfriend," she said with a pout.

He smiled and pulled her further into his warmth. "I'll remember this night alright," he said low.

An instant smiled showed on her face. And she rolled her eyes at its presence. She snuggled in closer and closed her eyes.

"Goodnight Luke."

**-The End-**

_Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness. _

--James Thurber


End file.
